I think I’ve spent most of my life chasing love.
Yes. Chasing Love. Seeking it. Striving for it. Trying to earn it. Trying to keep it.
Earn love? Can one really do that? Is love really a thing to be earned?
I knew it wasn’t. I was taught it wasn’t. But that didn’t keep the little perfectionist in me from striving. Striving to be good enough. Smart enough. Pretty enough. Spiritual enough. Holy enough.
Holy enough? Can one ever be holy enough to be loved?
It went against everything I knew.
“For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”
Fallen short. Fallen short of His glory. And the right to be in relationship with Him. My God and my Creator. The one who holds this world in His hands. The one who created my inmost being. I had fallen short of Him.
And without His love, I would be nothing. Zero, zip, nada… Nothing. And I would always be searching for a love that was never fully satisfying. Never quite enough. Never deep enough or full enough or strong enough. Everyone else’s love would simply be… inadequate.
Remember the story of the Samaritan woman? That desperate woman who had chased love into the arms of five –no six, and perhaps more — men and was still thirsty? Something tells me she had lived life chasing love as well. Until one day she met a man whose love could fully satisfy her. The God-Man. Her Savior. He said His water would leave her satisfied — she would thirst no more.
And so. Sometime during my own pursuit of love, I have found myself to be fully pursued by a love far greater than I could ever earn. Me. This girl with daily struggles of fear, guilt, ingratitude, anxiety, lust, impatience and the like. This girl so unworthy of being loved by a God so holy. I’ve found myself chased by the love of God. Realizing each day, more and more, what John means when he writes,
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”
1 John 3:1 (NIV)
I’ve started this blog as a means to share the lessons the Father is so graciously teaching me in this season of life. In no way do I pretend to have been made perfect in reflecting these truths. However, I wish to share this part of my journey as a means of encouraging those around me whose heart may resonate with my own.
And so. I invite you to join me on this journey of being chased by love. Of learning to live in light of the fact that as children of God, through Christ, we are holy, chosen, and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12). Of having joy in all circumstances, because nothing can separate us from His inexorable love (Romans 8:39). Of giving thanks for even the things God withholds, for we trust that if He gave his very Son in order to fully love us, He will also graciously give us those things we truly need (Romans 8:32). I will share parts of my story, and I’d love to hear your story as well, in the hopes that we can grow together in the knowledge of Him who loves us greatly.
For today, I leave you with Paul’s prayer for the church. May God grow both you and I in the knowledge of His great love for us.
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”
Ephesians 3:14-19 (ESV)